“How did people steal before computers? - Dogbert”

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”

“Everybody tells me what a timesaver the Internet is, and how they can't believe they ever got along without it. And I know what they mean, but every time I use it I wind up wondering what people did with their spare time before computers came along to suck it all up.”

“Oh, why did people have to be seperated before they understood how much they meant to each other?”

“I stood there, shocked. I'd never hugged a perfect stranger before, but maybe this was how people in California did things.”

“Dogbert to Dilbert"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people." "Then what does it do?" "Why would it need to do anything else?”