“Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.”

“Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots.”

“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrationalthings in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is theprinciple behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.”

“If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.”