“When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.”

“You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public”

“Lemon??!!”

“There’s a really stupid saying: When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Well, I have a better saying: When life hands you a lemon, shove that lemon up its stupid butt.”

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”

“Women define themselves by their relationships and men define themselves by whom they are helping. Women believe value is created by sacrifice. If you are willing to give up your favorite activities to be with her, she will trust you. If being with her is too easy for you, she will not trust you.”

“and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks.”