“You can change only what people know, not what they do.”

“Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve. ”

“Dogbert to Dilbert"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people." "Then what does it do?" "Why would it need to do anything else?”

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”

“The best you can hope for in a relationship is to findsomeone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It isfutile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someonewho is capable of significant change; that sort of personexists only in our imaginations.”

“People who do affirmations will have the sensation thatthey are causing the environment to conform to their will.This is an immensely enjoyable feeling because the illusionof control is one of the best illusions you can have.”

“What does it mean to be yourself?” he asked. “If itmeans to do what you think you ought to do, then you’redoing that already. If it means to act like you’re exemptfrom society’s influence, that’s the worst advice in theworld; you would probably stop bathing and wearing clothes.The advice to ‘be yourself’ is obviously nonsense. But ourbrains accept this tripe as wisdom because it is more comfortableto believe we have a strategy for life than to believewe have no idea how to behave.”