“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.”

“Caring about the quality of your work causes stress. Stress can kill you. Maintain good health by remembering that the stockholders are complete strangers who have never done anything for you.”

“You want something to drink?Is this a trick question?Yes. I'm going to read your personality based on your beverage choices, so choose wisely.”

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”

“Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally”

“Every generation of humans believed it had all theanswers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumedwould be solved at any moment. And they all believed theirancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the oddsthat you are the first generation of humans who will understandreality?”

“If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.”