“It's not necrophilia if she still has a pulse...”

“Write to me your most perfect epitaph, or I shall compare a poet to a lecturer. Thou art more Spartan than a ballad monger who makes his living as a Wal-Mart greeter;”

“There is no such thing as a dead language, only a dead lay that's a little too quiet for my tastes.”

“When the world is mine, then you all will be the 99.9%.”

“What I want is a beautiful and sophisticated piece of ass that happens to be 'bi.”

“If you hate the people who hate you, you'll destroy yourself”

“I really believe life is simple. It's all the other people that make things complicated.”