“I only steal because my dear old family needs the money to live!"Locke Lamora made this proclamation with his wine glass held high; he and the other Gentleman Bastards were seated at the old witchwood table. . . . The others began to jeer."Liar!" they chorused"I only steal because this wicked world won't let me work an honest trade!" Calo cried, hoisting his own glass."LIAR!""I only steal," said Jean, "because I've temporarily fallen in with bad company.""LIAR!"At last the ritual came to Bug; the boy raised his glass a bit shakily and yelled, "I only steal because it's heaps of fucking fun!""BASTARD!”

“I’m only doing this,” he said, “because I really love hiding in haunted Eldren buildings on dark and creepy nights.”“You’re a liar,” said Jean, slowly. “I’m only doing this because I’ve always wanted to see Bug get eaten by an Eldren ghost.”“Liar,” said Calo. “I’m only doing this because I fucking love hauling half a ton of bloody coins up out of a vault and packing them away on a cart.”“Liar!” Galdo chuckled. “I’m only doing this because while you’re all busy elsewhere, I’m going to go pawn all the furniture in the burrow at No-Hope Harza’s.”“You’re all liars,” said Locke as their eyes turned expectantly to him.“We’re only doing this because nobody else in Camorr is good enough to pull this off, and nobody else is dumb enough to get stuck doing it in the first place.”“Bastard!” They shouted in unison, forgetting their surroundings for a bare moment.”

“I've got kids that enjoy stealing. I've got kids that don't think about stealing one way or the other, and I've got kids that just tolerate stealing because they know they've got nothing else to do. But nobody--and I mean nobody--has ever been hungry for it like this boy. If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing. He...steals too much.”

“Can a man who lies, cheats, steals, and sometimes does violence to other people be a man of honor? Kolabati looked into his eyes. "He can if he lies to liars, cheats cheaters, steals from thieves, and limits his violence to those who are violent.”

“Alzheimer’s is the cleverest thief, because she not only steals from you, but she steals the very thing you need to remember what’s been stolen.”

“I know it's a bit self-aggrandizing.""Hey, you're stealing my eulogy," Isaac said. "My first bit is about how you were a self-aggrandizing bastard.”