“The water caught the Falselight glimmer like layers of shifting, translucent mirrors and formed split-second works of art in the air, but men cursed it anyway, because it made their heads wet.”

“Those prancing little pants-wetters come here to learn the colorful and gentlemanly art of fencing, with its many sporting limitations and its proscriptions against dishonorable engagements. You on the other hand, you are going to learn how to kill men with a sword.”

“I only steal because my dear old family needs the money to live!"Locke Lamora made this proclamation with his wine glass held high; he and the other Gentleman Bastards were seated at the old witchwood table. . . . The others began to jeer."Liar!" they chorused"I only steal because this wicked world won't let me work an honest trade!" Calo cried, hoisting his own glass."LIAR!""I only steal," said Jean, "because I've temporarily fallen in with bad company.""LIAR!"At last the ritual came to Bug; the boy raised his glass a bit shakily and yelled, "I only steal because it's heaps of fucking fun!""BASTARD!”

“So that makes us robbers of robbers," said Bug, "who pretend to be robbers working for a robber of other robbers.”

“This is where you and I are headed.... Look for us in history books and you'll find us in the margins. Look for us in legends and you might just find us celebrated”

“I didn't promise you shit. My dead friends, on the other hand--I made them certain promises I intend to keep.”

“If you want to write a negative review, don't tickle me gently with your aesthetic displeasure about my work. Unleash the goddamn Kraken."[on Twitter, July 17, 2012]”