“The rain fell like dead bullets.”

“Then on your tombstone, where you only get a little bit of space to sum up your life, some wax-faced creep chisels a set of meaningless numbers instead of poetry or a secret love or the name of your favorite candy. In the end, all you get is a few words.”

“I made an egg salad sandwich and took a bite of it over the open silverware drawer. A piece of egg salad fell in among the forks. I swore softly with my mouth full. Another piece of egg salad fell in.”

“...no animal likes to be pecked on the anus by a duck.”

“The English seem to think drinking wine is like committing adultery, something you do rarely and abroad.”

“He tells me to go away, but I don't think love is anything like water. It doesn't slip off that easily.”

“But spending your life concentrating on death is like watching a whole movie and thinking only about the credits that are going to roll at the end. It’s a mistake of emphasis.”