“The Shrink always warned me that carriers stay wracked with lifelong guilt. It's not an uplifting thing having turned lovers into monsters. We feel bad that we haven't turned into monsters ourselves--survivor's guilt, that's called. And we feel a bit stupid that we didn't notice our own symptoms earlier. I mean, I'd been sort of wondering why the Atkins diet was giving me night vision. But that hadn't seemed like something to worry about...”
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Quote Analysis of Scott Westerfeld's Perspective on Guilt and Awareness
In this quote, Scott Westerfeld explores the complex emotions associated with guilt and self-awareness, particularly in the context of those who may witness or experience trauma. The speaker reflects on the burden of survivor's guilt, a phenomenon where individuals feel guilty for having survived (or not being affected as severely) when others have faced dire consequences.
The "Shrink" mentioned symbolizes a voice of reason or mental health guidance, highlighting how psychological impacts persist long after traumatic events. The phrase "turn lovers into monsters" suggests a transformation induced by circumstances or events, stressing the weight of responsibility felt by the survivor. This metaphor emphasizes the profound emotional toll of witnessing beloved individuals change, potentially in ways that are unrecognizable and heartbreaking.
The admission of feeling "stupid" for not recognizing their symptoms earlier underscores a common human experience: the tendency to overlook alarming signs of our own distress. The mention of the Atkins diet leading to "night vision" behaves as a humorous yet poignant anecdote, illustrating how people can sometimes become desensitized or oblivious to the gradual changes in their well-being.
Overall, Westerfeld’s reflection delivers an incisive commentary on the intricate layers of guilt, self-awareness, and the often-unacknowledged impacts of trauma on mental health. It underscores the importance of recognizing one's own vulnerabilities and the difficulty in processing the aftermath of shared experiences.
Similar quotes
“One of the less attractive aspects of human nature is our tendency to hate the people we haven't treated very well; it's much easier than accepting guilt. If we can convince ourselves that the people we betrayed or enslaved were subhuman monsters in the first place, then our guilt isn't nearly so black as we secretly know that it is. Humans are very, very good at shifting blame and avoiding guilt.”
“Guilt is also a way for us to express to others that we are a person of good conscience. 'I feel really guilty about getting drunk last night,' we say, when in actual fact we feel no guilt whatsoever or, at least, we could choose to feel no guilt. When people say to me, 'I drank too much last night,' I always reply, 'I drank exactly the right amount.”
“...if we feel guilt, if we believe it in our own minds, that's what's true to us.”
“… we have bad dreamsbecause our brain is trying to protect us… If we can figure out a way to beat the imaginary monsters … Then the real monsters don’t seem so scary… That’s why we like reading scary stories.”
“The monster behind the wall stirred. I'd come to think of it as a monster, but it was just me. Or the darker part of me, at least. You probably think it would be creepy to have a real monster hiding inside of you, but trust me - it's far, far worse when the monster is really just your own mind. Calling it a monster seemed to distance it a little, which made me feel better about it. Not much better, but I take what I can get.”