“The Shrink always warned me that carriers stay wracked with lifelong guilt. It's not an uplifting thing having turned lovers into monsters. We feel bad that we haven't turned into monsters ourselves--survivor's guilt, that's called. And we feel a bit stupid that we didn't notice our own symptoms earlier. I mean, I'd been sort of wondering why the Atkins diet was giving me night vision. But that hadn't seemed like something to worry about...”
In this quote, Scott Westerfeld explores the complex emotions associated with guilt and self-awareness, particularly in the context of those who may witness or experience trauma. The speaker reflects on the burden of survivor's guilt, a phenomenon where individuals feel guilty for having survived (or not being affected as severely) when others have faced dire consequences.
The "Shrink" mentioned symbolizes a voice of reason or mental health guidance, highlighting how psychological impacts persist long after traumatic events. The phrase "turn lovers into monsters" suggests a transformation induced by circumstances or events, stressing the weight of responsibility felt by the survivor. This metaphor emphasizes the profound emotional toll of witnessing beloved individuals change, potentially in ways that are unrecognizable and heartbreaking.
The admission of feeling "stupid" for not recognizing their symptoms earlier underscores a common human experience: the tendency to overlook alarming signs of our own distress. The mention of the Atkins diet leading to "night vision" behaves as a humorous yet poignant anecdote, illustrating how people can sometimes become desensitized or oblivious to the gradual changes in their well-being.
Overall, Westerfeld’s reflection delivers an incisive commentary on the intricate layers of guilt, self-awareness, and the often-unacknowledged impacts of trauma on mental health. It underscores the importance of recognizing one's own vulnerabilities and the difficulty in processing the aftermath of shared experiences.
“It's amazing how quickly nature consumes human places after we turn our backs on them. Life is a hungry thing.”
“Making ourselves feel ugly is not fun." "We are ugly.”
“Maybe they didn't want you to realize that every civilization has its weakness. There's always one thing we depend on. And if someone takes it away all that's left is some story in a history class.”
“And you've actually watched it yourself?' I asked. 'Willingly?'Sure. I had to see it, you know? Besides we should be safe. Only one in twenty viewers actually had a bad reaction. And it was mostly kids who were affected. I mean younger than you guys. I think the average age was about ten.'That made me feel somewhat better.But that was a kid's show,' said Jen. 'Maybe it affects everyone, but not that many adults were watching.'That made me feel less better. I wanted my protective bangs back.”
“People only worry about the uncanny for about a week; that's the end of their attention span. After that, suspicions turn into shtick.”
“It's not the way Zane looks, David," she said, her voice trembling with anger. "It's because he makes me bubbly, and because we took a lot of risks together. It could just as easily be me lying there, and he would stay with me if it was.""It's just programming!" "No. It's because I love him.”