“Just wondering where you keep your ABBA collection.”

“That's because we were together for two years and she led me on a treacherous journey through bitchy, across frigid, and into the land of cheating psycho. I barely escaped with my life. It required a week of solid moping just so my balls could grow back.”

“I’ll call you guys so you can talk me down from my gay-men-who-fall-for-breeders ledge.”

“You know, you may look like that actor, but the only way I can tell for sure you’re him is if I see that six-pack”

“Jeremy got to his bike and pulled on his helmet making some adjustments with his radio mic. Next came the sunglasses and Rafe almost had to cross his legs against the wave of lust pooling nicely in his groin.”

“He was acting like such a girl—like being around a good looking, fit guy was creating all these insecurities within him or something. At this rate, he should expect to start having periods soon.”

“Have you ever dreamt? At night, with your eyes closed?... Then you know that even with eyes closed, even in complete darkness, your mind can fill a frame for you, your soul, to observe and experience – a stage with color and atmosphere are as realistic as the visions you perceive while awake. This is how we Elders and the undead see, for we look at the world through an astral plane congruent with physical reality, where emotions are tangible shapes, and hopes, fears, and regrets collect themselves into transparent auras.”