“The doorbell rang, and I assumed it was Fran and Roger having come back because they had forgotten something. I took my time, lacing my boots, and the buzzer became more impatient.“I’m coming, shithead!” I yelled. Yes, I should have known better. For of course, it was not Roger or Fran. I threw open the door to find Declan Tyler standing there, looking half-insulted and half-amused.“Got a pet name for me already?” he asked.”

“It's just going to add to him thinking that I am a crazy, wanky, greenie, hybriddriving hippie," I complained."Has he seen your bomb of a car?" Fran asked in disbelief. "Greenpeace arranges a protest every time it leaves your driveway.”

“Fran laughed. “I still feel like we’re kids, but just pretending to be adults. I thought there would be this turning point where you would just wake up one day, and bam! You’re mature!”

“I would never have broken up with you," I said earnestly. "I'm more miserable without you than I am with you." As soon as that sentence came out I groaned, because I knew how bad it sounded.But Declan laughed. "Vintage Simon Murray comment.”

“And suddenly I was lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling, my face numb. At least, numb until the adrenaline vanished and pain flooded into every nerve of my skull. I blinked away stars and Tweety Birds, to see Dec and Abe standing above me and looking down, both of their faces frozen in different ways: DECLAN / ABE Worry / Worry Shock / Shock Anger / Mortification Rage / Guilt hating seeing loved one hurt / hating having hurt a friend about to go Hulk-like / wanting to run, but standing his ground”

“We sat there in silence for a while, just taking in the moment of reflection between us. It’s funny how a woman feels different to a man. They feel nice and soft, but because there isn’t that spark of attraction there it’s more of a sisterly or maternal warmth that you feel from them. It’s wonderful. And it brings out this strange protective streak that seems borne from intuition if you have man parts, regardless of whether your man parts like other men’s parts. And I wanted to protect Fran.”

“Everybody better stay out of my way because I’m steamrollering my way through this town, powered on snark.”