“Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.”
“If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.”
“If you think things can't get any worse, you have no imagination.”
“The reason people get lost in thought is that it's unfamiliar territory.”
“You can't be late until you show up.”
“Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.”
“I think, therefore I am... not related to you.”