“If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.”
“If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.”
“Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons: to them you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”
“How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?”
“According to my best recollection, I don't remember.”
“My programs don't have bugs... they have random features.”
“Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.”