“If you think things can't get any worse, you have no imagination.”
“You can't be late until you show up.”
“Whoever said you can't buy happiness has never been shopping.”
“I think, therefore I am... not related to you.”
“There are few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosive.”
“The reason people get lost in thought is that it's unfamiliar territory.”
“How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?”