“This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.”
“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam me up my clothes.”
“If I explained it to you, your brain would explode.”
“If you think things can't get any worse, you have no imagination.”
“The reason people get lost in thought is that it's unfamiliar territory.”
“You can't be late until you show up.”
“Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.”