“Sir, it smells like bananna's...maybe you should get that looked at. Quiet down soldier....get your shit together and prepare for attack.”

“How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?”

“You can usually tell when a couple becomes centered on each other because they are forever breaking up and getting back together.”

“A vampire?” MacAullif said.There is no way I can do justice to the skepticism, sarcasm, and mistrust with which MacAullif managed to imbue the word.“That’s right.”“You want me to find a vampire?”“I’d be relieved if you could. I’m afraid he might be dead.”

“How do you kill a vampire? "Silver bullets?”“That’s werewolves.”“Cloves of garlic?”“That’s French bread.”

“I like how Mother Teresa put it: "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile." If you approach life this way, always looking for ways to build instead of to tear down, you'll be amazed at how much happiness you can give to others and find for yourself”

“When single you are,” Roger said, imitating Yoda dispensing advice to Luke, “get laid you can. When married you get, make love you do.”