“A man should swallow a toad every morning to be sure of not meeting with anything more revolting in the day ahead.”

“Lizzie Bright Griffin, do you ever wish the world would just go ahead and swallow you whole?""Sometimes I do," she said, and then smiled. "but sometimes I figure I should just go ahead and swallow it.”

“A man should kiss his wife's navel every day.”

“Fine food is poison. It can be as bitter as antimony and bitter almonds and as repulsive as swallowing live toads. Like the poison the emperor took every day to stop himself being poisoned, fine food must be taken daily until the system becomes immune to its ravages and the taste buds beaten and abused to the point where they not only accept but savour every vile concoction under the sun.”

“Men forget where the way leads and what they meet with every day seems strange to them.We should not act and speak like men asleep.”

“We should be happy to see toads in our gardens.”