“America is thataway, Mr. Lincoln," laughed Davis, pointing north. "You're in Mississippi now.”

“It is their nature, beautiful and simple. That you would destroy such beings, Mr. Lincoln, such superior creatures, seems madness to me.”“That you speak of them with such reverence, Mr. Poe, seems madness to me.”"Can you imagine it? Can you imagine seeing the universe through such eyes? Laughing in the face of time and death—the world your Garden of Eden? Your library? Your harem?”

“I do not expect I shall ever again have the opportunity of defending and murdering a client in the same day. - Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter”

“Without death, life is meaningless. It is a story that can never be told.A song that can never be sung. For how would one finish? - Henry, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”

“I hereby resolve to kill every vampire in America.”

“Elizabeth: "Your balls, Mr. Darcy?"Darcy: "They belong to you, Miss Bennett.”

“From this moment on, nothing is what it seems. You're not a human being, you're a character- and filmmakers are doing everything in their power to kill you even now. Supernatural powers and curses are real, and numbers like 666 and 237 can kill you just as easily as a butch knife.Log cabins are slaughterhouses, cornstalks are antennas for evil, and aliens never, ever come in peace.”