“So long as this country is cursed with slavery, so too will it be cursed with vampires.”

“From this moment on, nothing is what it seems. You're not a human being, you're a character- and filmmakers are doing everything in their power to kill you even now. Supernatural powers and curses are real, and numbers like 666 and 237 can kill you just as easily as a butch knife.Log cabins are slaughterhouses, cornstalks are antennas for evil, and aliens never, ever come in peace.”

“Contrary to his infallibly "honest" image, Abe wasn't above lying so long as it served a noble purpose.”

“One: I am proud to say that my vampires do not sparkle.Two: I feel like in literature that we've gone [this way] towards the kissing vampires side of the needle. I think it's time we go back towards the killing vampires side of the needle.”

“I hereby resolve to kill every vampire in America.”

“We pore through libraries, dissecting the classics" Henry Sturges- vampire”

“I do not expect I shall ever again have the opportunity of defending and murdering a client in the same day. - Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter”