“Would the fountain of your mind were clear again,that I might water an ass at it!”

“And if I ever see you or your fake ass Chanel earrings around here again, I will shove my very real, very pointy Jimmy Choos up your prissy little ass. Do I make myself clear?”

“But she was funny sometimes, and never boring. God, it would almost be worth it to see her face when she realized that I had saved her ass again. Actually it was quite a nice ass, come to think of it. In fact, my memory of the ass and its owner seemed to be remarkably clear.”

“Before there was any water there were tides of fire, both our tones flow from the older fountain.”

“Question for your life: If there were a fountain machine that dispensed destruction instead of soda, would you grab an extra large cup?”

“Your soul fountain will never drain until the instant of eternity will halt before it to drink the water of death.”