“Perry: Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find? Harry: A picture of me? Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!”

“I'm pretty sure that if you looked up the word "nuts" in the dictionary, you'll find my picture. Just another fun feature of my mutant-birdkid-freak package.”

“Might not hurt you to pick up a book, just as an experiment."Whatever. I looked up the definition for 'nerd' in the dictionary. Know what it said?""I bet you'll tell me."" 'If you're reading this, you are one.' "You're a riot.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Perry. Life’s hard. Love’s harder”

“Dennis, please. I don't know what-""Shut the fuck up, and stop playing me for an idiot. And secondly, and more importantly, I've unearthed some disturbing information about you which I want to discuss in more detail before I fill you with holes.”

“Cam lifted the back of the U-Haul door to find Perry holding up a pair of Nana's enormous, silky white underpants.'Whoops,' said Cam. 'You'll have to make do.' And she shut the door, ignoring Perry's continued pounding on the side of the trailer.'I packed some cute stuff for her, too,' Asher said regretfully.”