“This is every shade of wrong.”

“A talking monkey, yeah, yeah. Came here from the future. Ugly sucker. Only says 'ficus.”

“You don't get it, do you? This isn't 'good cop, bad cop.' This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.”

“To this day I have a profound mistrust of the word processor. I have to type it or write it first, screen it and only then enter it for posterity onto the word processor.”

“Here's what I didn't know when I was starting out that I now know…I thought when you were starting out it was really hard to write because you hadn't broken in yet, you hadn't really hit your stride yet. What I found out paradoxically is that the next script you write doesn't get easier because you wrote one before…each one gets harder by a factor of 10.”

“Perry: Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find? Harry: A picture of me? Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!”

“This is a quote. Kinda bland, eh?”