“They're monsters.""That's what Edward thought.""Oh, yeah? He a friend of yours?""No, Miss Librarian. Just a main character in a wildly popular vampire series.”

“What just happened?""Your father invited the former love of your life in for pie.""Yeah, that's what I thought.”

“I want to be a vampire. They're the coolest monsters.”

“He told me that archivists and librarians were opposite personas. True librarians are unsentimental. They're pragmatic, concerned with the newest, cleanest, most popular books. Archivists, on the other hand, are only peripherally interested in what other people like, and much prefer the rare to the useful.”

“Can I ask you a question? You know with vampires and werewolves and goblins and things, is there any mythological creature that doesn't actually exist?""Of course," he replied. "The unicorn and the leprechaun would be would be the two main ones. The Loch Ness Monster isn't real, either, that's just someone called Bert.”

“Yeah, Mom, Ethan’s turned into a monster and my best friend thinks he’s a faery. How was your day?”