“Do you need help with anything?" he asked with a wicked arched brow. "Maybe with cookies for Santa."Scowling because no one was here but us, I said, "You're a bit late for that. Santa already came."He hadn't moved, but I knew better than to think he would. Flynn was a pro at filling the bubble air space that was meant to be private and personal. "And were you a good girl?" he asked.Awkwardly folding my arms over my chest, I said, "Not sure, I haven't checked. But you needn't look. We all know you are all bad."Laughing, he said, "Yeah, well, there are other things worth unwrapping."Grinding my teeth, I asked, "What, you didn't get your Ho, Ho, Ho, last night?"Tossing back another full belly laugh, he said, "You know you're kind of funny when you want to be.”

“Well, well, well,” Santa said once the elf had retreated. “Come and sit on my lap, little boy.”This Santa’s beard was real, and so was his hair. He wasn’t fucking around.“I’m not really a little boy,” I pointed out.“Get on my lap, then, big boy.”I walked up to him. There wasn’t much lap under his belly. And even though he tried to disguise it, as I went up there, I swear he adjustedhis crotch.“Ho ho ho!” he chortled.I sat gingerly on his knee, like it was a subway seat with gum on it.“Have you been a good little boy this year?” he asked.I didn’t feel that I was the right person to determine my own goodness or badness, but in the interest of speeding along this encounter, I said yes.He actually wobbled with joy.“Good! Good! Then what can I bring you this Christmas?”I thought it was obvious.“A message from Lily,” I said. “That’s what I want for Christmas. But I want it right now.”“So impatient!” Santa lowered his voice and whispered in my ear. “But Santa does have a little something for you”—he shifted a little inhis seat—“right under his coat. If you want to have your present, you’ll have to rub Santa’s belly.”“What?” I asked.He gestured with his eyes down to his stomach. “Go ahead.”I looked closely and saw the faint outline of an envelope beneath his red velvet coat.“You know you want it,” he whispered.The only way I could survive this was to think of it as the dare it was.Fuck off, Lily. You can’t intimidate me.I reached right under Santa’s coat. To my horror, I found he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. It was hot, sweaty, Geshy, hairy … andhis belly was this massive obstacle, blocking me from the envelope. I had to lean over to angle my arm in order to reach it, the whole timehaving Santa laugh, “Oh ho ho, ho ho oh ho!” in my ear. I heard the elf scream, “What the hell!” and various parents start to shriek. Yes, I was feeling up Santa. And now the corner of the envelope was in my hand. He tried to jiggle it away from me, but I held tight and yanked itout, pulling some of his white belly hair with me. “OW ho ho!” he cried. I jumped o1 his lap. “Security’s here!” the elf proclaimed. The letter was in my hand, damp but intact. “He touched Santa!” a young child squealed.”

“Well," I said finally, knowing he was waiting, "you make me laugh."He nodded. "And?""You're pretty good-looking.""Pretty good-looking? I called you beautiful.""You want to be beautiful?" I asked him."Are you saying I'm not?”

“You need to be Queen. Everyone who knows anything knows htat, but most people don't know anything, and that is a problem." He scratched at the back of his head and shifted his weight. "I would never take that away from you. No matter what happens, I'd never take the crown from you, and I'd defend you against anybody who tried."I didn't say anything to that. I'd never heard Tove talk so much before, and I didn't know what he was getting at. "I know that you're in love with...well, not me," he said carefully. "And I'm not in love with you either. But I do respect you and I like you.""I respect and like you too," I said, and he gave me a small smile."But it's a number of things, and it's none of them." He let out a deep breath. "That didn't make sense. I mean,it's because you need somebody to help you keep the throne, and somebody on your side, and I can do that. But...it's just because I think...I want to.""What?" I asked, and he actually looked at me, letting his mossy eyes stare into mine."Will you...I mean,do you want to get married?" Tove asked. "To me?""I,um..." I didn't know what to say."If you don't want to,nothing has to change between us," Tove said hurriedly. "I asked because it sounds like a good idea to me.""Yeah," I said,and I didn't know what I would say until it was comign out of my mouth. "I mean,yes,I do.I will. I would...I'll marry you.""Yeah?" Tove smiled."Yes." I swallowed hard and tried to smile back."Good." He exhaled and looked back down the hall. "This is good,right?""Yeah,I think so," I said, and I meant it."Yeah." He nodded. "I sorta feel like throwing up now,though.""I think that's normal.""Good." He nodded again and looked at me. "Well,I'll let you go...do whatever you need to do.And I'll go do what I do.""okay," I nodded."All right." He randomly patted me on the shoulder, then nodded again, and walked away.”

“Me?" "Yeah you," he said, giving me a wry smile. "I gave you my number half expecting you would never call, and so when you did . . . why do you think I was so gung ho about driving all the way out here? I wanted to spend time with you.”

“I need to know that you will be a good girl and not scream. Do you promise?” “I promise,” I said gritting my teeth, arching my back. I heard him laugh quietly as he moved his face back to mine. His mouth was on mine; I could taste the salty sweetness of myself on his lips…”