“You wanna know why the world is f**ked? This is why, this is exactly why…right here. Get a pen, write this down, this is important…The world is f**ked up because I eat WonderBread preserved with formaldehyde that lasts three weeks and will never grow mold as long as it’s kept in its magic silver bag. The world is f**ked up because I know my cans of tuna have mercury in it. The world is f**ked up because I know my flake light tuna and WonderBread are poisonous, yet I still eat them!”

“I dry heaved, forcing myself to try and not chuck up my guts. I had been f**ked by an insect man.”

“Now that I've been thoroughly mind f--ked, I need a cigarette..”

“He had the face of an angel, but he f**ked like a devil.”

“One thing I’ve learned about myself over the years is that I’m no good at dealing with people dying. It’s not that I’m afraid of it – I know that everyone’s gotta go eventually – but I can’t help thinking that there are only one or two ways of being brought into this world, but there are so many f**ked-up ways of leaving it.”

“No one washes their hands after they piss unless they’re in a public place. If I’m at the airport, or a restaurant, and someone else is there, I’ll soap up for the sake of civilization, but it’s only for show, I don’t really care if I have ultraviolet traces of urine or feces on my hands. But, if I see someone walk oudda the men’s without soaping up I’ll think he’s deranged, borderline psychotic. At least pretend that washing your hands matters. You know, for the sake of civilization.”

“Victoria made a violent sound of protest. “I am not repressed!”Seht pinched her nipple and watched her resulting shiver. “You have never been spanked or ass-f**ked. I would say that’s pretty damned repressed.” “Bastard!”