“I'm an excellent pastry chef. My pie crust is better than my Zia Rosa's. Come on back to the kitchen. I'll make a chocolate cream pie before your very eyes. I'll feed a piece of it to you by hand. And by the time I'm done, you're not going to be asking me if I'm gay anymore."She cleared her throat, gaze darting down. "Is that so.""It is," he said. "On your feet. Come on back to the kitchen. I mean it. I'm dead serious. It's pie time. And I am so ready for you.”

“I'll take these," Danny said, reaching for the bouquet. Just as Kevin was holding them out – and still trying to keep the chocolates from slipping out from under his arm – a flash went off."I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Danny's mother apologized, "I just HAD to! It's so CUTE! I'll be going now. I'm going to… clean up the kitchen. I'm sorry! You boys carry on!" she retreated backwards down the hallway, camera still in hand. They could still hear her as she turned the corner, "So CUTE! Oh my GAWD!"Danny said sheepishly, "Sorry about that.""Dude... Your mother is...""You have no idea. Uhm, I'll take care of these. Maybe you'd better head on up to my room. Like, before she comes back…”

“Having said that, I'll give the two of you my full blessing and support--provided you're not yanking her around," she advised, addressing Sean."I'm not, I swear.""Good. Because if I find out you are? I'll cut off your balls and use them as Christmas ornaments. We're clear?""Mama!"He nearly choked on a bit of pie. "Crystal."Amelia graced him with the full force of her angelic smile. "Fantastic. More pie?"-Eve's Mama”

“That night, when SanJuanna had cleared the main course and brought dessert in, my mother called for quiet and said, "Boys, I have an announcement to make. Your sister made the apple pies tonight. I'm sure we will all enjoy them very much.""Can I learn how, ma'am?" said Jim Bowie."No, J.B. Boys don't bake pies," Mother said."Why not?" he said."They have wives who make pies for them.""But I don't have a wife.""Darling, I'm sure you will have a very nice one someday when you're older, and she'll make you many pies. Calpurnia, would you care to serve?"Was there any way I could have a wife, too? I wondered as I cut through the browned C and promptly shattered the entire crust.”

“You don't really want me on your team,' Lexie said. 'I'm totally terrible.''I know," Jake said. 'I want you on the other guy's team.'Lexie swatted him with her free hand. "That is no way to talk with your girlfriend,' she said, forgetting for a moment that Bree was right there, intently watching them.'You're right,' he said. 'My apologies, sugar plum. I'm sorry, honey pie. I'll never do it again, my little pumpkin. Is that better?'She wrinkled her nose at him. ' feel so edible all of a sudden.''Cute enough to eat,' he said.”

“If you come back to me, I'll never leave you", I whispered into the furry ear. "I'll make you all the pies you could ever eat.”