“Being the evil undead wasn't fun anymore. For one thing, it was increasingly hard to get a library card.”

“Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card.”

“Vampires have credit cards?""We're undead, not Amish.”

“Libraries are a force for good. They wear capes. They fight evil. They don’t get upset when you don’t send them a card on their birthdays. (Though they will charge you if you’re late returning a book.) They serve communities. The town without a library is a town without a soul. The library card is a passport to wonders and miracles, glimpses into other lives, religions, experiences, the hopes and dreams and strivings of ALL human beings, and it is this passport that opens our eyes and hearts to the world beyond our front doors, that is one of our best hopes against tyranny, xenophobia, hopelessness, despair, anarchy, and ignorance. Libraries are the torch of the world, illuminating the path when it feels too dark to see. We mustn’t allow that torch to be extinguished.”

“Cuz it sure as hell appeared that his library card was getting stamped tonight.”

“Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.”