“Why don't you just put me down for a couple of boxes of cookies and go earn your next patch bothering someone else." - Jayke Wolff”

“She looks like she bathes. Maybe in a tub of puppies' tears, though. - Jayke Wolff”

“That's a pretty serious club, requiring tattoos. I thought only math club did that. - Jayke to Amber-”

“If you’re looking to make a little money on the side like I do, you might want to apply somewhere else. You’d have to wax your legs to make this dress work on you. - Abbey to Kip -”

“It sounds like you aren't used to having something so powerful between your legs," Abbey said. "Maybe you should let me drive.”

“Would you like to tie my hands and drag me out like your prisoner? You’ll look like the hero, and I might get a cheap thrill. - Kip to Abbey -”

“Don't mind her," Kip said to Nicki. "She's just crabby from the long ride." "Yeah, I've been riding with...I mean on...a horse's ass all day," Abbey quipped.”