“Bird looked back at Pastor. *Why did you bite Jeremy?**Because I felt like it.**Is it out of your system now? Feel better now?**Actually, I do*Jeremy piped in; *No big deal. He bit, I kicked; we're even*...No wonder horses get messed up. By the time people get around it hitting them, the horses have forgotten the whole thing.”

“When I was a kid," Orr replied, "I used to walk around all day with crab apples in my cheeks. One in each cheek."... A minute passed. "Why?" [Yossarian] found himself forced to ask finally.Orr tittered triumphantly. "Because they're better than horse chestnuts... When I couldn't get crab apples," Orr continued, "I used horse chestnuts. Horse chestnuts are about the same size as crab apples and actually have a better shape, although the shape doesn't matter a bit.""Why did you walk around with crab apples in your cheeks?" Yossarian asked again. "That's what I asked." "Because they've got a better shape than horse chestnuts," Orr answered. "I just told you that.""Why," swore Yossarian at him approvingly, "you evil-eyed, mechanically aptituded, disaffiliated son of a bitch, did you walk around with anything in your cheeks?""I didn't," Orr said, "walk around with anything in my cheeks. I walked around with crab applies in my cheeks. When I couldn't get crab apples I walked around with horse chestnuts. In my cheeks.”

“Jeremy laughed. "Well, there was food, a gift, and you spent your time shopping. I'd say it was a date!"Aiden squinted at Jeremy. "That's all we did last Saturday! he said, a little bit of surprise in his voice. "I thought you weren't gay!"Jeremy widened his eyes big enough to look shocked. "Well, I didn't know you were!""God, what a dumbass!" Aiden shook his head. "Jesus, how can you give advice on two guys dating if you don't even know what two guys do if they're not on a date.”

“When I was a kid, I used to walk around all day with crab apples in my cheeks. One in each cheek.”I threw the book down. It was impossible to read anything with a guy like Orr around you.“Why?” I finally asked.“Because they’re better than horse chestnuts,” he answered with a twinge of triumph in his voice.“Why’d you walk around with crab apples in your cheeks? That’s what I asked,” I said, glaring at him.He didn’t notice, of course. He was still pacing around the room.“When I couldn’t get crab apples, I used horse chestnuts. They’re about the same size and actually have a better shape, though the shape don’t matter much. Who belongsa this?” He was holding the hunting knife from the mosquito-net bar by the dead man in our tent. That guy Orr’d pick up anything. I told him it was the dead man’s. So he chucked it backwards, and it landed three inches away from the dead man’s head. If Old Orr had better aim, it probably woulda killed the guy, if he weren’t already dead.“Why did you walk around with anything in your cheeks?” I was losing my patience now. You always lose your patience when you’re talking with a guy like Orr.“I didn’t walk around with anything in my cheeks. I walked around with crab apples in my cheeks, and when I couldn’t get crab apples I used horse chestnuts. In my cheeks. One in each cheek.”“Why?”“Because I wanted…”

“I felt like I did the first time I had been thrown from a horse, with the reins yanked from my hands and the ground rushing up at me. Then, as now, there was nothing I could do to prevent the pain that was coming.”

“Taylor: “Show me your craftiness. I’ll give you one question.”Jeremy: “I’m a big believer in first impressions,” he finally said. “Tell me what your first thought was when Jason walked into the courtroom.”Taylor: “I vowed to hate him forever.”Jeremy: “That’s exactly what I said nineteen years ago, five minutes after he first walked into our dorm room.”....Jason : “Did I miss something?”Taylor: “You’re a bit older than I thought, Jason Andrews.”Jason glanced quickly at Jeremy, who held up his hands innocently.Jeremy: “I swear, she forced it out of me.”