“Did anyone ever tell you that you're completely inappropriate?""They have. And you know, I had a little talk with myself about it. It turns out I'm cool with it.”

“This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.”

“I thought all the way back to when I was a kid, not being able to tell anyone, not even my parents, about who I really was. I never had anyone to talk to, and I never looked to anyone to talk to -- because I didn't want to talk about it. If you're young and questioning and not able to voice it in safety, find a gay person in your community who you trust and respect, and get to know him and talk it all through with him. Find the big brother or the parent that you don't have at home and ask him to guide you and help you sort out all the emotions.”

“You are the opposite of romantic. Did anyone ever tell you that?""I am full of romance. I like sunsets and the ocean and beaches and flowers and love songs and Shakespeare in the park and all that kind of shit." Eli's cheeks flushed. It was adorable on him. "I don't get what any of that has to do with sex.""I'm not talking about sex, Eli. I'm talking about a kiss.""Fine. I'll kiss the romantic fuck out of you.”

“Dear Government... I'm going to have a serious talk with you if I ever find anyone to talk to.”

“I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!”