“She was thinking, I have a nut in my house. How do I get the nut out of my house?”

“I guess she's just nuts,' he said. 'And if she's nuts, a guy's got to do nuts things. You don't think you could say the hell with her?”

“The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not "I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy" nuts or PMS nuts. "I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend" nuts.”

“I don’t blame you for being upset, Sera. But what you need to be doing is getting pissed as fuck and then stab him in the nut sack with those killer stilettos.” I look up at my best friend, Adam, and see the empathy in his eyes. “Fuck it! I’ll stab him in the nuts, and then gouge his eyes out. Girl, I’ll be the…the fucking Nut Slayer!”

“I began to get a feeling (...) of being the only sane man in a nut house. It doesn't make you feel superior but depressed and scared, because there is nobody you can contact.”

“He'd lost me at "vampire."Nuts. Lucius Vladescu is completely nuts. And I'm alone with him, in an empty barn.So I did what any sane person would do. I jammed the pitchfork in the general direction of his foot and ran like hell for the house, ignoring his yowl of pain.”