“Ulrich Van Holtz continued to read the latest tome on world economics, pretending to be bored, but in truth absolutely fascinated!”

“I’m merely pointing out that the gene that controls intelligence skipped a generation in the Van Holtz household.”

“Van Holtz, you bastard! You’re doing this on purp…on…oh! That feels very nice. Do that again.”

“It was informational. About how to perform oral sex on men. You know, one man teaching another. It was really fascinating and I’ve always wondered about the techniques he discussed—ow. Ow! You’re squeezing a little hard, Van Holtz.”. . .“Well, if you’re willing to be my test subject—ack!”

“Our history teacher had the most boring voice in the world and no teaching skils to speak of. Every single class, he read aloud in a monotonous tone. Yeah, fascinating. Double history on a Monday morning was a punishment from God.”

“What is truth? For the multitude, that which it continually reads and hears.”