“Well, I hope you were nice to him ’cause I was kind of an asshole.”

“Sometimes I get nice letters from people who know they're due to meet him (Death) soon, and hope I've got him right.Those are the kind of letters that cause me to stare at the wall for some time.”

“Well, I hope you like it here, Leo. It used to be .......really nice.”

“I failed to understand what was so enviable about having a position that a pack of phonies sucked up to. Dishwashing suited me because nice people were nice to me and assholes were assholes to me, yet no one ever sucked up to me.”

“How did you get my number anyway?”“Some asshole named Nash.”“Asshole?”“Yeah, asshole. Don’t tell me you don’t think he’s an asshole!”I laugh uncomfortably. “Um, no I don’t think he’s an asshole. He’s always been nice to me.”asshole. He’s always been nice to me.”“Of course he has. You’re gorgeous. What man wouldn’t be nice to you?”“Plenty.”“Assholes, all of them,” he teases.“They’re assholes, too?”“Yep.”“Is everyone an asshole today?”“Yep,” he repeats. “Word of the day toilet paper.”I laugh, genuinely this time. “Is that right?”

“Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him.”