“Gay people could do anything. They were like Swiss army knives.”

“My grandmother's greatest gift was tolerance. Now, in the old days, Indians used to be forgiving of any kind of eccentricity. In fact, weird people were often celebrated. Epileptics were often shamans because people just assumed that God gave seizure-visions to the lucky ones. Gay people were seen as magical too. I mean, like in many cultures, men were viewed as warriors and women were viewed as caregivers. But gay people, being both male and female, were seen as both warriors and caregivers. Gay people could do anything. They were like Swiss Army knives! My grandmother had no use for all the gay bashing and homophobia in the world, especially among other Indians. "Jeez," she said, Who cares if a man wants to marry another man? All I want to know is who's going to pick up all the dirty socks?”

“Those Montana Indians were so tough that white people were scared of them.Can you imagine a place where white people are scared of Indians and not the other way around?That's Montana.”

“Seymour looked around the Tucson McDonald's. There were white people and Mavajos; there were people who preferred their Quarter Pounders with cheese and those who didn't care for cheese at all; and there were those who desperately wish that McDonald's would introduce onion rings to its menu.”

“Coyote, who is the creator of all of us, was sitting on his cloud the day after he created Indians. Now, he liked the Indians, liked what they were doing. This is good, he kept saying to himself. But he was bored. He thought and thought about what he should make next in the world. But he couldn't think of anything so he decided to clip his toenails. ... He looked around and around his cloud for somewhere to throw away his clippings. But he couldn't find anywhere and he got mad. He started jumping up and down because he was so mad. Then he accidentally dropped his toenail clippings over the side of the cloud and they fell to the earth. They clippings burrowed into teh ground like seeds and grew up to be white man. Coyote, he looked down at his newest creation and said, "Oh, shit.”

“I didn't literally kill Indians. We were supposed to make you give up being Indian. Your songs and stories and language and dancing. Everything. We weren't trying to kill Indian people. We were trying to kill Indian culture.”

“The people at home,” I said. “A lot of them call me an apple.”Do they think you’re a fruit or something?” he asked.No, no,” I said. “They call me an apple because they think I’m red on the outside and white on the inside.”Ah, so they think you’re a traitor.”Yep.”Well, life is a constant struggle between being an individual and being a member of the community.”Can you believe there is a kid who talks like that? Like he’s already a college professor impressed with the sound of his own voice?Gordy,” I said. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say to me.”Well, in the early days of humans, the community was our only protection against predators, and against starvation. We survived because we trusted one another.”So?”So, back in the day, weird people threatened the strength of the tribe. If you weren’t good for making food, shelter, or babies, then you were tossed out on your own.”But we’re not primitive like that anymore.”Oh, yes, we are. Weird people still get banished.”You mean weird people like me,” I said.And me,” Gordy said.All right, then,” I said. “So we have a tribe of two.”I had the sudden urge to hug Gordy, and he had the sudden urge to prevent me from hugging him.Don’t get sentimental,” he said.Yep, even the weird boys are afraid of their emotions.”