“Then I remember that God is really, really old. So maybe God has God arthritis. And maybe that's why the world sucks. Maybe God's hands and fingers don't work as well as they used to.”

“I remember when people used to think I was smart.I remember when people used to think my brain was useful.Damaged by water, sure. And ready to seizure at any moment. But still useful, and maybe even a little bit beautiful and sacred and magical.”

“I grabbed my book and opened it up. I wanted to smell it. Heck, I wanted to kiss it. Yes, kiss it. That's right, I am a book kisser. Maybe that's kind of perverted or maybe it's just romantic and highly intelligent.”

“Is God a man or a woman?God could be an armadillo. I have no idea.”

“And believe me, a good piece of chicken can make anybody believe in the existence of God.”

“I mean, why are you trying so hard to impress me? I'm really sorry your mother died, but it doesn't mean much to me...”

“Your past is a skeleton walking one step behind you, and your future is a a skeleton walking one step in front of you. Maybe you don't wear a watch, but your skeletons do, and they always know what time it is.”