“What’s so funny?’ asked Peone.‘Catholic cops are funny,’ said Lester.‘You were listening?’‘Yeah.’‘Yeah? Catholic Indians are funny.’‘There’s lots of Catholic Indians.’‘There’s lots of Catholic cops.”

“Christmas, as a practicing Catholic child, was seen as a reward for lots and lots and lots of church.”

“Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, there’s always laughter and good red wine.”

“Let us put it the other way, the Lutheran or Protestant church versus the Catholic. The Catholic is the girl that you love so much that she can lie to you, and the Protestant is the girl that loves you so much that you can lie to her, and pretend a lot that you do not feel.”

“Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine,There’s always laughter and good red wine.At least I’ve always found it so.Benedicamus Domino!”

“So I sit and endure the stares and the pangs and twinges of Catholic guilt, knowing that I am doing the right thing if I'm right, and the right thing even if I'm wrong. Being Catholic is hard. Being ex-Catholic is even harder.”