“Caleb could be so testy for no known reason. At times, it was like dating a woman with irritable bowel syndrome. Or rabies.”

“That night Lance wants to rub his penis as he thinks of Lexi but he refrains. He doesn’t want Lexi to be a masturbatory fantasy in the tradition of Cindy Crawford, Heather Locklear, Kate Hudson and Whoopi Goldberg. No. Hell no! As a matter of fact, hellll no with marshmallows on top. Lance wants Lexi to be his special lady, everything he needs and more. Lance has a gut feeling, an irritable bowel syndrome sensation, that Lexi is his Soul Mate, the one woman God made especially for him to enjoy. Lance wonders if Lexi is allergic to hyacinths. Roses are so common.”

“LIPID (Last Idiot Person I Dated) syndrome: a largely undiagnosed but pervasive disease that afflicts single women.”

“The average woman would not be pondering how fast her date could kill her, but I’ll never be an average woman.”

“Prue hadn't really been in love with Fabian. Indeed, it was obvious that at times she found him both boring and irritating. But wasn't that what so many marriages were - finding a person boring and irritating and yet loving him? Who could imagine a man who was never boring, or irritating?”

“I could go on to speak of sanity as compared with insanity, decency as compared with vandalism, friendship as compared with rabies.”