“I don’t know. Word around the girls’ locker room is that all of you are so hard up, you were cruising the senior center, trying to find a prom date.” – Nick”

“Unable to resist any longer, I leaned close to Tristan and whispered, “So, exactly how many of the,” I glanced around the room, “thirty girls in your class did you date?”“Only one’s a senior, but I’ve dated thirteen girls from Clarence,” he answered easily. “But more would’ve dated me, if I’d asked.”“Way to be humble, Romeo.”

“Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is used to cut diamonds.”

“You could only try so hard not to try too hard before you were right back around to trying too hard. And trying hard, as everyone told him, was wrong, all wrong.”

“You must be Pain in the Nick.” – Dev“Huh?” – Nick“Don’t wet your pets. Just a figure of speech. Your mom’s been talking about you all day, boy. You are her favorite topic.” – Dev“Well, I try hard not to be her favorite hemorrhoid.” – Nick”

“That’s the worst thing about having chakaare like us around. We just wander off, find someplace you don’t know about, and hole up in it and get into all sorts of mischief that you know nothing about. And then we bill you for it. Dreadful.”“Dreadful. Is this the kind of thing that CSF might notice?”“Were we to get out of hand, I imagine very senior officers in CSF might need to be reassured, but not by you.”“Dreadful. Hypothetically, anyway.”