“I was keeping Bubba from committing a felony. No offense, but ‘he’s a zombie, Your Honor, don’t electrocute me’ isn’t a viable excuse. Believe me, I know. My dad’s doing three life sentences ‘cause he killed, and I quote, ‘a crap load of demons who were trying to kill me and if I hadn’t killed them, Your Honor, they’d have taken over the city and enslaved all you petty, pathetic humans.’ They wouldn’t even let my dad plead insanity because of it. So trust me, ‘zombies needed killing’ isn’t a legit defense. (Nick)”

“I prefer sidekick. I tried once for the title of Padawan, but Bubba wigged out saying that mentors are always killed off in books and movies and he’d be damned if he was going to die once he taught me everything I needed to know about killing zombies. (Mark)Then why let you be his sidekick? Isn’t that the same thing? (Nick)Uh, no. In the movies, the sidekicks are the ones who die. (Mark)”

“Well, isn’t that interesting. (Bubba)I ain’t your science experiment, Bubba. I don’t want to be interesting and I definitely don’t want to be a nubby treat for the zombies. (Nick)”

“Are you sure I can’t catch it? (Nick)I’m positive. Believe me, I know my zombies. (Bubba)(Nick scoffed.) ‘Is it just me or is that like saying I know my elves and fairies?’ (Nick)”

“Calm down. I’m a demon, Nick. Hematite doesn’t like my genetics. It doesn’t mean anything other than I have really bad parentage.”“Then why am I having flashes of you killing me?”“What’d you eat this morning?”Nick didn’t care for that answer. Not one little bit. “I saw it happen. You were choking the life out of me.”Caleb rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah. That is definitely a figment of your overactive, over-Hollywood-stimulated imagination. I assure you. I don’t kill people that way. Takes too long. I’m not into torture. I prefer a quick death so that I can move on to something more satisfying.”Strangely enough, that he believed. Patience wasn’t a virtue Caleb practiced. “You sure?”“Dude, look at me. You think I’d have let the demons pound all over me last night so that you could escape if I had any intention of killing you? Really?”

“Bubba there zombies.....and there trying to eat me!" -Nick Gautier”

“Point taken there. Now, the important question, so pay attention, ye ADD degenerates. How the F do I kill them? ’Cause no offense, I was trying and they were kicking my ass all over the place. It really wasn’t pretty and didn’t do much for my ego either. My only reprieve is that no one I have to face on a regular basis witnessed my beating. Don’t know why you wanted me here when I’m about as useful as a wart on Aremis’s bum.” – Sasha”