“I’ve never met anyone who had a monkey for a friend before. (Maggie)I don’t know. I think those two guys you were with would qualify as primates, but then, that’s an insult to the primate and I don’t want Marvin to get pissed at me. He has higher sensibilities, you know? (Wren)”

“Yeah, I wish I could have stayed awake long enough to see your face when I changed over. (Wren)No, you don’t. I assure you, it wasn’t pretty. (Maggie)There’s never anything about you that isn’t pretty, Maggie. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. (Wren)”

“What would you like? (Maggie)I don’t care. I’ll eat anything not Tylenol or chocolate. (Wren)”

“I don’t know. There are times when I get the feeling he can’t tell me from Nynia. I think he loves her more than me. (Sunshine)No offense, but that’s stupid. You and Talon are soulmates. He will always love you no matter who or what you are. You, my friend, could come back as a humpback whale and he would love you. He can’t help it. The two of you are destined for each other. (Psyche)”

“Why did you marry him then? (Francesca)I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. I thought he was a noble prince. I had no idea he was barely one step up from a monkey. I take that back and I deeply apologize to all the primates of the earth for insulting them. He’s not worthy of monkeydom. He’s a slimy slug trail. (Esperetta)”

“You know, those parlor tricks would be much more impressive if they actually helped me. (Danger) I wanted to see what you had in you. (Alexion) Piss and vinegar. Next time you don’t help me, I’ll unleash it fully against you. (Danger)”

“Honey, you need to get laid. (Selena)Why don’t you speak a little louder, Lanie? I don’t think the guys in Canada were able to hear you. (Grace)Oh, I don’t know. They’re probably headed south even as we speak. (Waiter)”