“I’ve still got a few things I want to do, like shove my foot so far up the assassin’s ass that he tastes leather for eternity.”

“Cause I’m gonna put my foot so far up their butts they’re going to burp shoe leather. (Nick)”

“So how are you feeling this morning?” – Nick“Like I got my ass kicked by a bunch of psycho demons.” – Caleb”

“What is a Dark-Hunter? Is it like the Vampire Slayer? (Amanda) Yes, I'm a small, emaciated teenage girl who struts around fighting vampires in earrings they would rip out of my ears and shove up my ass. (Kyrian)”

“Don’t give me that pseudo quasi psychobabble bullshit, Ash. I’m tired, I had my ass kicked, I’m still worried about Cassandra, Erik, and Chris, and I really feel like shit. Just once in eternity, answer one fucking question. (Wulf)I will not tamper with free will or fate, Wulf. Not for you, not for anything. There is no power on this earth or beyond that could make me do such a thing. (Acheron)”

“How do you feel? (Maggie)Like I got hit by a bus that decided to back up a few times and make sure it finished the job. I think it must have ground its tires on my ribs during the last run. You know, just in case I might actually want to breathe again in my lifetime. (Wren)”

“Menoceus wants his father.""Bob is crying because he wants his mother to stop calling him that crap-ass name. It's all right Bob. Daddy's got you now. I'm saving you fromMommy's bad naming taste. I'd be crying, too, if my mom named me after an idiot.""Menoeceus is a great name.""For an old man or a feminine hygeine product. Not for my son. And next time I get to name the kid and it won't be something that sounds like meningitis.”