“Jess! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Are you all right? Are you alive? Did I hurt you? Jess? Can you speak?” – Abigail “Yeah, I can talk. But I kind of like the attention you’re giving me. You want to grope a little lower, it’d be even better.” – Sundown”

“Now what other evil powers do you have that I should know about?” – Abigail “I can roll my tongue.” – Sundown“I’m serious, Jess.” – Abigail“So am I. Not everyone can do it. It’s a genetic thing, you know.” – Sundown”

“You must be Andy.” – Abigail “Yeah, and if you hurt Jess, so help me, I will hunt you down to the farthest corner of hell and make you wish to God you’d never breathed air.” – Andy”

“Oh my God, can you see me? I thought I was wearing my invisibility cloak.”

“Jess:"Sasha? I need some tissue to pack my nose with."Sasha:"Is that hygienically sound?"Jess:"Sasha..."Sasha:"Fine, but if you get toxic shock up your nose, buddy, remember I warned you."Jess pulled a couple out and wedged them into his nostrils. He gave Abigail a sheepish smile. "Sexy, right?"Abby: "Oh yeah, baby. You're so hot right now, if I was a chicken I'd lay hard-boiled eggs.”

“Mom, I have to tell you something,”...... “Oh my God, you’re pregnant.”