“Oh contraire, mon frère. I’m able to annoy all adults in ten syllables or less. Sometimes, I don’t even have to speak at all. I just walk into the room and it rankles them.”

“Honey, you need to get laid. (Selena)Why don’t you speak a little louder, Lanie? I don’t think the guys in Canada were able to hear you. (Grace)Oh, I don’t know. They’re probably headed south even as we speak. (Waiter)”

“Sometimes I talk about baseball just to annoy people who don’t understand it.”

“Look, when I’m here, I don’t have to think. I don’t have to worry. I don’t even have to be me if I don’t want to. That came out wrong. I don’t have to be the me I have to be all day.”

“You don’t have to be brave or a saint, a martyr, or even very smart to be an atheist. All you have to be able to say is “I don’t know”.”

“So, what—you just walk right past me? Don’t even say hello?” He clutches the socks to his chest. “I’m crushed. I saved us a table and everything.”I glance at him. Keep walking.He catches up. “I’m serious. Do you have any idea how awkward it is to wave at someone and have them ignore you? And then you’re just looking around like a jackass, trying to be all, ‘No, really, I swear, I know that girl’ and no one believes y—”