“Oh, I remember how beautiful you were. You didn't have any hair. You were such a bald little booger, I thought I was going to have to save up to buy you a toupee.”

“Even though I had a history with that house, it didn't matter. You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have...is now.”

“Honestly. Do guys really think that will fool us? 'Whoa, hi there, John. Gosh, for a second there I thought you were going bald, but I see now that you have a full, lush head of hair. Which grows sideways from left to right in sticky strands. Have I ever been this sexually excited? I think not.”

“You were twisting your wet hair up into a ponytail, and then you saw us, and you smiled....""Then why didn't you-""Because you were smiling for him. And I would have had to have been an idiot to get in between that.”

“You tell Roarke you were tagging me for this? Or is he going to get riled up so I have to kick his ass again?""Oh, is that what you were doing when you had to be carried out of the room unconscious?""I like to remember it that I was just getting my second wind.”

“Here," she said. "This is for you.""I didn't really get you anything," I sputtered. "I mean, I didn't know that you were going to be here, and--""Don't worry. It's your embarrassment at not having the thought that counts.”