“Someone else has to be disseminating it. (Mark)Dis-a what? (Nick)Disseminating. It means distributing it. (Mark)Then why didn’t you say that? (Nick)Remind me to get him a word-of-the-day calendar. (Mark)”

“What is that smell? (Nick)(It was like three-day-old cat vomit mixed with rotten asparagus.)Duck urine. It keeps the zombies from thinking I’m human. (Mark)Yeah, well it keeps me from thinking you’re sane. (Nick)”

“But, Bubba? Aren’t you and Mark friends? (Nick)Ah, hell no. Mark’s not my friend, he’s my minion. (Bubba)”

“Oh, goody.” – Nick “Did you say something?” – Mark“Uh, yeah. I said, ‘Oh, goody.’ As in I get to clean this mess up.” – Nick “I had that same reaction. I even tried to quit when I showed up this morning, but Bubba wouldn’t let me. Told me if I tried to leave, he’d shoot my butt full of buckshot. He’s the only SOB I know who’s crazy enough to actually do that. So here I am. Ticked off, but alive. It’s a good day.” – Mark”

“I think," Nick snarled, "that the stupid bastard isn't smart enough to win a poker hand with a deck of marked cards.”

“I prefer sidekick. I tried once for the title of Padawan, but Bubba wigged out saying that mentors are always killed off in books and movies and he’d be damned if he was going to die once he taught me everything I needed to know about killing zombies. (Mark)Then why let you be his sidekick? Isn’t that the same thing? (Nick)Uh, no. In the movies, the sidekicks are the ones who die. (Mark)”