“So…that’s like your pet monkey?” – Nick(The tiny horse snorted flames and whinnied at him.)“Easy, girl. You’d do well to show her respect. She can understand you, and she doesn’t take well to insults.” – Death“Sorry, Flicka. Didn’t mean to rattle your bridle.” – Nick”

“You must be Pain in the Nick.” – Dev“Huh?” – Nick“Don’t wet your pets. Just a figure of speech. Your mom’s been talking about you all day, boy. You are her favorite topic.” – Dev“Well, I try hard not to be her favorite hemorrhoid.” – Nick”

“What do you mean I have a predetermined death?” – Nick“Did I stutter?” – Death “No.” – Nick“Do I look like Webster’s?” – Death “No.” – Nick “Then you should understand what I said, since I didn’t speak in code. Every mortal creature is born with an expiration date. Some immortals, too. Set by the big clockmaker. But excessive stupidity and moronic tendencies can shorten it. Pissing me off is one really good way to cut yours down to three seconds from now.” – Death”

“How can this be your car? (Nick)Well, I wrote a really big check that didn’t bounce to the dealer and then the most amazing thing happened…the salesman gave me the keys and let me take it home. It was like magic. (Acheron)”

“Now don’t you be covering for him, Ash. (She wagged her finger at Nick.) Are you driving? (Cherise)No, Mom. I’m sitting. (Nick)”

“This is your pendulum map. It’ll answer any yes or no question you ask. All you have to do is focus your mind on the question and hover the pendulum over the page. In time, you’ll be able to ask more complicated questions and it’ll spell out the answers.” – Death “Duly awesome. Will I lose my vir–Hey!” – Nick “Stop being stupid and take this seriously.” – Death “What’s wrong with asking that, anyway?” – Nick “It’s a stupid concern.” – Death “What are you? Asexual or something?” – Nick“My libido is fine, Nick. However, it takes a distant second place to my need to kill people who annoy me.” – Death”

“Dude! Put a bell on. You don't walk up on a brother like that and scare the crap out of him. (Nick)Sorry. Didn't realize you scared like a little girl. (Acheron)”