“These were encrypted. They’ll think they’re absolutely safe. (Andre)‘Yeah, and he was three feet tall and green.’ (Steele)”

“Oh, my God, are you okay? (Syd)You ever nick yourself while shaving? (Steele)Yeah. (Syd)You know the burn you get that hurts like hell? (Steele)Yeah. (Syd)This is nothing like that. It’s a lot worse. (Steele)”

“Not a mark on it. (Joe)Yeah. Wanna check the backseat, where Steele is sitting? I’ll bet there’s a big stain there. (Tee)”

“Look, I don’t care what the Ooga-Boogas do. It sounds like they need a family counselor, not a sniper. (Steele)They’re not Ooga-Boogas, they’re Uhbukistanis. (Syd)Whatever. My personal belief is that we should leave Ooga-Booga Land to the Oomp-Loompas. Let them fight it out with the Snozzwangers, Wangdoogles, and the mean Vermicious Knids. I’d rather go peal carrots with a spoon. (Steele)”

“Have you ever heard of feng shui? (Randy)Yeah. It’s the ‘put the mirror on your door and sleep in the right direction’ bullshit. (Steele)”

“What is that smell? (Nick)(It was like three-day-old cat vomit mixed with rotten asparagus.)Duck urine. It keeps the zombies from thinking I’m human. (Mark)Yeah, well it keeps me from thinking you’re sane. (Nick)”

“You wanted me to get a job. Well, that’s their job-screening. I kill him, or he kills me. Winner gets the job. (Steele)You’re kidding. (Syd)Absolutely. I’m not the least bit serious. All of this is one big hallucination. And I’m not sitting over here bleeding to death. But hey, since it’s a hallucination, could you please make my arm stop throbbing because right now it hurts like hell. (Steele)”