“WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS? THE MAN'S A VAMPIRE!Yeah, but he's a really, REALLY sexy one.”

“I smell vampire" -Lula"You're a Nut" -Stephine"Well I smell something." -Lula"Mold." -Stephine"Yeah. I smell moldy vampire" -Lula”

“You bit de Quincey," he said. "You fool. He's a vampire. You know what it means to bite a vampire." "I had no choice," said Will. "He was choking me.""I know," Jem said. "But really, Will. Again?”

“Eli: 'If a machine like that really existed, people would be willing to kill for it. Lots of people.'Nora: 'Yeah, and if hot vampires really existed, suicide would be a viable option for wrinkle prevention. Your point?”

“We had this talk,” she said. “You may be dead sexy, and I mean, like, really dead and really sexy, but you don’t get to tell me what to do. Right? And no head-shrinker stuff, either, or I swear to God, I’ll pack my shit and move!”

“Oh, yeah, that goatee is really unattractive. That definitely belongs on a much fatter man.”