“Wouldn’t it be freaky if the two of us exchanged places? You’d have to go home to my house and make out with Duncan. (Mary)Ah, gah! Eye bleach. Don’t put that shit in my head. You’re my sister, for Pete’s sake. Now I’m going to have to beat your husband the next time I see him for defiling you. (Zeke)Oh, pooh. You always overreact to everything. (Mary)”

“Man, first I’m shot, now I’m going to be a friggin’ zombie. At this rate, I’ll never live to have my first date or a driver’s license. Ah, gah! I’ve come too far to die a predestrian virgin. Bubba, you can’t let me die…I only have seventeen more months and three days to my sixteenth birthday! (Nick)”

“You think any of this crap could be possessed? (Zeke)No. I think you’re possessed of the spirit of creepiness. (Mary)”

“See what? I didn’t see anything. There were no scary people there. Nothing freaky. I’m going home now and tomorrow I’m going to have the doctors check for a brain tumor. Full battery of tests. Whole nine yard. Whatever’s wrong with me, we’ll find it and deal with it. At this point, my vote is either tumor or space alien testing. Either one works for me. (Geary)”

“You know, bud, I don’t know you from Adam, but that’s my baby sister you’re hanging on to. So I’m thinking the wisest course of action for you is to let her go and introduce yourself. Pronto. (Rain)”

“You can’t smell shite in this cesspit of cheap alcohol, oversprayed perfume, and animal stench. (Dare)Oh see, there you’re wrong. I live in this cesspit. Picking out the scent of shit is my specialty, and, Brother, you reek of it. So if I were you, I’d tell me what you did, or I’m going to turn you in to the Peltier bears. (Fury)”

“My kingdom for a gun. (Geary)You don’t have a kingdom. (Brian)And I don’t have a gun- looks like I’m shit out of luck all the way around, huh? (Geary)”